Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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