Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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