yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
