i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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