Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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