Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
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