Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
