Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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