I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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