what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
