During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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