So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OPIZZABONMYDICK
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
