am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
