On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we're so committed to being not committed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
