I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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