he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
