just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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