i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
