im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
