OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
