Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
