SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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