Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
