I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
