i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
