I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
