Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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