just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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