Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Enjoy the penises
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize