quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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