Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
