No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize