Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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