i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
