she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
