In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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