and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
