Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
