can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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