My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
