I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
