I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
