Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
