I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
