Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
