i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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