ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
