I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
