those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
