Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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