It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize