I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You are a genius and a whore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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