I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
