wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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