On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
