Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize