Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
