you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
