Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
