we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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