he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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