filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
